Kris, you gave me food for thought. I'm on a Great White North adoption group, and it usually scares the bejeebies out of me with attatchment and bonding and PTSD talk. So much so, that at one point, I was even wondering if Shaggy had bonded to me as a baby, because he had all the 'classic' symptoms of a kid who had not bonded. I kid you not. As for Thumbelina, I would like to think she is bonding properly; she certainly seems to be. Although we are still battling sleep issues (she will not nap during the day unless I'm holding her and while she starts out sleeping in her crib at night, that only lasts for about 4 hours and then she's in bed with us til morning).
What I have noticed, is that on those times when I do leave her with a sitter (her grandmother), such as yesterday when I had a hair appointment, she has a horrible night of restless sleeping. Horrible. Since she is in our bed anyway, it's like she needs to be sleeping on top of me because she needs to know I'm there. So my concerns are that if this is how Thumbelina acts after being in the care of somebody else for 2 hours, what is our night going to be like if somebody else puts her to bed? I don't think we'll be getting any sleep if that happens.
I love holding Thumbelina and watching her sleep, but I also long for the day when I can put her in her crib for her naps and then actually do some chores. And I'm very tired. Very tired. Which causes my emotions to always be at the surface, so when reasonable requests are made of me, I can get defensive and oppositional. Shocking, I know.
And now for your viewing pleasure, I present Miss Thumbelina playing with her new favourite toy:
Thank you, Auntie C, for telling us about it!
3 comments:
Dang it I swear she is just a huge bundle of CUTE CUTE CUTE.
As for her sleeping issues, this I've heard is common with adopted kids and even some bio kids... my theory is, if you are concerned at all about it or don't think it's her "normal" in light of what she has been through, than seek some professional advice. I'd even encourage you to check out Dr. Aronson's website (google that) and you might find help there. I was a horrible sleeper as a kid that could not fall asleep without the SOUND of my mom's voice. This went on apparently for a long time. And I wasn't adopted. So, it could be a thing unique to her makeup or it could be she has fears about being alone. And certainly if she was in an orphanage, she is used to sleeping "with" others, not by herself.
I'm NO expert, I know SO LITTLE, so little, and I can't imagine how exhausted you are... I do know that eventually she will turn that corner and be able to sleep alone. It happens. I just am not sure how you can start to "ween" her from sleeping with you. If you'd like some help from one of my very close friends (who happens to be a professional nanny with an adopted daughter from China), I'd be happy to direct her to you. I am certain she could be of some help, at the very least easing your mind about a lot of issues and giving you some tips maybe.
Anyway. I feel completely useless in trying to help you. I hope slowly she begins to show signs of trust and is able to do things independently of you without suffering for it (as in not sleeping well). She certainly, though, seems to KNOW who mom is, and that is a good thing!
Hang in there.
I agree with Kris, a bundle of cute! And that toy DOES look great!
I hope you can get some rest.
She is adorable!!
Alyson
LID 01/27/06
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