Hoo-Boy

I have a special talent. Wanna know what it is? I am talented in the art of ticking people off. And I don't even try! That, my friend, is the secret to my talent.

Okay, so here's what I did this time. My housecleaner is not very skilled in the artistry of cleaning house. A year and a half ago, she came to my house to clean with a company from town. She being my neighbour's sister. I was not very happy with said company because anytime I had a complaint, the owner made excuses for her workers rather than just addressing the issue at hand.

A few days after Yram (my housecleaner) was at my house, I saw her at the grocery store. And she proceeded to tell me what a horrible job she thought her partner had done (the company usually sent out 2 girls to clean). I agreed. Yram told me that she was looking for houses to clean on her own, so I fired the company and hired Yram. And all was well. For about a month. And then I noticed that Yram wasn't doing a very thorough job. And when I was going to say something to her, I learned that her husband had just up and left her. And you don't kick a person when he's down. So I put up with it.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when we had our travel group over for a play date. Yram had just been to my house on Thursday, our playdate was for Saturday, Friday was spent cooking. So Saturday morning I'm thinking we just have minor cleaning to do. Hoo-boy was I wrong! My house was really quite dirty, and embarrassingly so considering it had just been cleaned.

And so I decided that I needed to talk to Yram about it. Which brings us to today because I'm a procrastinator and didn't know how to start the conversation. So I just started.

Me: Yram, there's something I need to talk to you about, and I don't know how to start, so I'm just going to say it. I haven't been very happy with your quality of cleaning for a while now.

Yram: Well there's always clothes and toys and food to clean up. I don't have time to do a good job.

Me: But when you clean, you don't move anything or dust behind things.

Yram: Well that's why I started coming twice a week. But there's always clothes and toys and food to clean up! There's no more time! If I'm not good enough for you then there's no point in me even being here!

Me: I'm not firing you, I just need you to do a better job.

Yram: I can't! And if what I do isn't good enough, then you'll just have to find someone else!!

Me: It isn't good enough.

Yram: Fine!! Then today's my last day!!

Me: Okay

Three minutes later...

Yram: I can't work in this stressful environment! I'm outta here! I like cleaning in a nice family environment!! This is just too stressful!!!

Me: Let me get you your check.

Yram: Just forget it!!! Just mail it to me!!

And with that, she slammed the door and left. And I was kind of left with my mouth hanging open because she was so agitated with me, that she wasn't even letting me finish my sentences. I didn't even get to tell her that she could stay longer than 3 hours. I don't care how long it takes her, I just want a clean house.

Is it too much to ask that behind the toilets get cleaned? And things on the counter and knick-knacks be moved to get cleaned underneath and behind? And little fingerprints cleaned off of the TV? And the couch vacuumed? And the ... obviously it is too much to ask.