Speaking of Hillbillies

My Hillbilly Name:

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

Sandra Dee Hogg

Hillbilly Name Generator

So what's yours?

And as always, for some reason when I do these silly blog-quizzes and copy the html code, it never works out for me. It used to before super-blogger took over, but now not so much. So here it is: http://www.blogthings.com/hillbillynamegenerator/

I Am Raising Hill-Billies

It's true. My children are Hill-Billies. Husband said they're beyond being Hill-Billies.

On Saturday, Fil called from Florida to talk to the boys. Shaggy decided to put him on speaker phone in the kitchen, Husband and I were in the office doing work. Yes, on Saturday. It's never-ending. So since Fil was on speaker phone we could hear most of the conversation. And then I heard Tigger say, Just a minute Grampa, I have to go to the washroom. And then silence because Shaggy had wandered off to watch TV by this time. And I looked at Husband and incredulously asked, Did Tigger just leave your Dad on speaker phone to go to the washroom?? That's disgusting! We could hear noises, so we knew Tigger had left the bathroom door open. He left the bathroom door open while he was talking on speaker phone. And it's so embarrassing I don't even know why I'm telling you all. I just looked at Husband and said, Oh my Gosh. We are raising Hill-Billies.

Yesterday morning after church, a little kid was eating a tart, but got crumbs everywhere on the floor. So Tigger squatted down and started eating crumbs. Off of the floor. Crumbs.

Hill-Billy.

Shaggy is now all of a sudden, somewhat aware of his appearance. As of yesterday, he's started parting his hair down the middle. Looks really cute, too. And he doesn't like it when I set out his clothes for him in the morning. If he doesn't have a clean shirt in his closet, he goes down to the laundry room in search of one. And puts on a dirty shirt that Zoomer wore the day before. A dirty shirt. That his brother has already worn.

Hill-Billy.

Better Today

I forgot to post a picture of the sweater and sockies that Alfred's Mom sent to Thumbelina. Don't you just love them? She's going to look so cute in that sweater:
And I bought this in Banff:

Thanks for indulging me yesterday in my pity party. Nothing like a little retail therapy to lift a girl's spirits.

So we went to the Chinese Consulate yesterday to apply for our visas, forgetting until we were ready to go that we needed passport-sized photos to include with the application. We were told that photo-booth photos were fine, but where in our small town are there any photo booths? No where, that's where. So we decided to throw caution to the wind and just hope for the best and stop at a mall along the way. And it paid off. So 8 bucks later, we ended up with 8 hideous pictures of ourselves that really don't even resemble us...

Side note - if you decide to take a school picture with you of your son - passport size - because he's in school and you have no other pictures of him with which to bring, the consulate will not accept it. They will be kind enough, however, to accept the application if you promise to bring in an actual passport picture (or photo booth somewhat likeness) when you come back to pick up the visas. Didn't know that, did you.

So the retail therapy. We stopped at a mall on the way home because we had to buy more luggage, and I wanted to get something for Thumbelina to wear for her first Sunday to church. I went into a few stores and wandered around; Husband asked me if I knew what I was looking for and I said, I'll know it when I see it. And then in the next store I saw it:

Isn't it just darling? It's a onesie with a sweater and skirt:

Don't you just love the skirt?
And lookey the tulle and fabric underneath:
And since my To Do list is quite long, I best get a move on it and start something.

A Little Miffed

Ever wake up 1/2 hour late, only to have a headache and be in a bad mood, and then to find your kids in a bad mood as well? Me too.

We leave in two weeks. Thumbelina's room is not anywhere near ready for her to habitate. And I'm angry at myself for letting it slide for this long. There is still old bedroom furniture that needs to be moved out, and physically, I can't carry it down the stairs by myself. And it's all probably too heavy for me to help with anyway. So it sits. One of my childs opened the lid on the paint can...the paint that I am slowly doing the touch-ups with...and now it's dried hard as a rock. We could probably make some sort of art from it but now I have to go buy another can of paint. The carpet. Makes me angry. It has been sitting in Shaggy & Tigger's room since December 24, 2005. Yes, 2005. Because our carpet guy didn't have time to lay it that day. Which was fine, he said he'd come back in September and do it. Which was fine as well because we obviously didn't need it done before then. But now? Now he doesn't lay carpet anymore because his knees can't take it. And I don't begrudge him that - why didn't he squeeze us in when his knees could take it? But he wants to take care of us, so leave it with him. I'VE GOT A BABY COMING IN TWO WEEKS, BUDDY. I CAN'T JUST LEAVE IT WITH YOU! And I've been bugging Husband and telling him that I'm just going to call somebody locally to lay it. But he wants to talk to our guy first. SO TALK TO HIM ALREADY!

I'm a wee bit stressed this morning.

And I want to re-paint the crib - a very soft, soft pink.

Sylvie, my sister-in-law, is coming next week for a sewing party and we're going to finish up the curtains for Thumbelina's room.

I did have a bit of a pity party this morning. Oh, you thought this was the pity party? Silly. You're so wrong - this is the aftermath. You get stuck listening to me gripe about all of this. The pity party involved tears and children suddenly behaving and being helpful...most of the children, not quite all of them.

So today, if the Chinese Consulate is open, we're heading off to the city to apply for our VISAS.

You know how stupid I am? I told you I bought the highchair and carseat the other day, right? I was looking at so many carseats and I thought for sure the box I picked up said it was rear facing and front facing. It isn't. It's only front facing. Thumbelina has to be 20 lbs and a year old before she can be in a front facing carseat. Right now, if her reports are correct, she's 17 lbs and 9 months old, 10 months when we get her. And I'm not in the mood to exchange it, and I'm not buying a rear-facing-only-carseat for 2 measly months. So Sylvie is going to check - she thinks Pudge's carseat is both (his little one is already lent out to another relative) and we'll trade carseats until Thumbelina is big enough for her new one.

Anyway.

Aren't you glad you're not working with me today?

The Acorn Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

This morning, Shaggy told me he made up a Valentine's Poem:

If you were a booger,

I'd pick you first!

Happy Valentine's Day

It told him he was disgusting. And then I broke out in laughter. Why oh why oh why did I end up with the grossest child? Seriously. He does keep us on our toes.

So the House of Flu is no more. Mostly. Although I still can't quite drink coffee yet. Shocked, aren't you. And the smell of food makes me leave the room. I can't handle it. I can drink coke, and that's about it. My teeth aren't really liking all the syropy sweetness left behind on them, but at this point, I don't have any other choice. And thank you all for your get-well wishes, except for AB. I think that was uncalled for. You know what I mean. The rest of the Funny Farm seems to be on the mend as well.

Did you realize that we leave for China in 15 days??? Fifteen. FIFTEEN. There is currently an explosion of pink in my dining room. I'm getting sleepers and onesies ready to wash. And clothes ready to be packed. I have a lot of denim for Thumbelina.

I bought the highchair and carseat yesterday. I was holding out for cutesie-cutesie-girlie, but couldn't find anything in my stupidly small town, so I just went with generic ones from Zellers. This way I can use my Zellers points to buy a kitchen playset for Thumbelina for Christmas...I'm thinking she'll be too little to enjoy it for her first birthday in May.

And because I haven't posted her picture in ages, I thought I'd leave you with the sight that melts my heart every day:

The House of Flu

Enter At Your Own Risk.

That's what should be posted on our front door.

We are sick. Some of us are better, some of us not so much. Me, I'm on the mend. Yesterday was horrible and I wanted to die, but hey, I've lost 5 lbs. Zoomer has it now, and Husband is just getting it. Shaggy and Tigger had it over the weekend. Although Shaggy never had anything other than a stomach-ache and a fever...although he didn't eat anything for two days...

Anyway.

That's what's happening here.

Happy Chinese New Year!

It's the year of the pig, in case you were wondering. Husband thought that was pretty fitting, since we have pigs coming out of our ears. Not literally, don't be a silly. But the pigs are popping piglets like pez dispensers. I'm giggling. I humor myself.

So today, instead of celebrating CNY by going to my favourite Chinese restaurant, I'm doing laundry. And lots of it. Tigger is sick, and Shaggy has a fever and a headache. Shaggy didn't eat anything yesterday except for a banana, so you know the poor boy is ill. Tigger has emptied all the contents of his tummy - thank God for tile floors - and he's gone through 5 pajama bottoms since 5 am - it's currently just after 9 am. So, fun times happening here on The Funny Farm. Fun times.

I went to a PartyLite Candle party last night and spent a small fortune.

Husband called Star*Choice about our DVR not working. They're sending us a brand-spanking new one. All we have to do is send the old one back and pay like 13 bucks for shipping. So obviously there is something malfunctioning in their DVR's...and we've been without TV for a month now. I told Husband we're too easy-going and we should start complaining more. I know, I know, you're thinking - that's all you do on this blog is complain - but this is my place to let it all out. So thank you for listening to me while I vent.

And now, there's a washing machine with my name on it.

Before and After

Before:

After:

Before:

After:

This is what 13" looks like:

Please excuse the messy before pictures - I had just walked through a windstorm.

Tigger says my new do is soft. Shaggy hates it and wants my old hair back. Zoomer said I look like Lola. Husband said Holy Cow!

Fooey

I had a post all written up and blogger disconnected itself and lost it on me. So the jist of my first attempt was to say that I had to apologized to Husband for our Anniversary turning into a Crapaversary. Because I was sick. Boo hoo me. We had Chinese take-out for supper, I bought a heart-shaped black forest cake for dessert (can you feel the love) and then I went to bed at 8:00. Before my children. And then Tigger was up the next morning at 5:00 bowing down to the porcelain throne, but he's better today and back to school. Me, not so much. Coffee is burning my stomach. Not good not good not good. It's almost noon and I don't feel awake yet. But I did get my roses. 15 of them. One for each year we've been married. They are beautiful, but I don't have the energy to take a picture of them yet.

So today is the day. Friday. The 16th. Of February. I'm getting my hair cut. Oooooo. I'm all excited and nervous at the same time. I'm donating my hair to Locks of Love and I've been growing it out for over 3 years just for this reason. It's time. But I'm all nervous and excited. Did I mention that? I'll be sure to take before and after pictures so that you can all laugh at me.

That's about it.

Did you hear about the Michael Waltrip Scandal??? I'm so disappointed I can't even talk about it right now. I was going to give him one more year of loyalty, but now? I just don't know.

Anyway, back to work you two.

Happy Valentine's Day

So many great things are happening today. It's Valentine's Day. What better day is there? Even if you don't have a significant other to share it with, you can gorge yourself on chocolate and not feel guilty!!!

It's a snow day. Didn't I tell you it'd be snow day today? Yay! I got to sleep in until 7:30!!! Woohoo! I didn't have to make lunches!!! Woohoo! Check back in here at 10:00, I'm sure by then my Woohoos! will be Woos. Zoomer is working in the barn today with Husband, Shaggy is outside playing, and Tigger just got up and is watching cartoons and eating breakfast. Life is good. AND, I'm having vanilla cream in my coffee this morning. We're out of regular cream. But vanilla is special and it's a special day. So Woohoo!

But you know what else? Today is my anniversary. 15 years ago we were married. I look back at our pictures and think My Gosh we were just children. Children! What were our parents thinking, letting us get married so young! At the time we were like What's the big deal? But now? Now we have a child who is only 8 years away from the age his Father was when he got married. I shiver just thinking about it and it makes me nausious.



So I will leave you with some wedding pictures. I loved my dress.




Not ever thinking I'd have a daughter, I didn't keep my dress. I donated it to a company in Toronto that sells them and/or re-uses the material; all the proceeds go to help send children with cancer to summer camp.

It's all good.

Breaking News

Not so much Breaking News...more of just an update of news here at The Funny Farm.

• Tigger has new glasses. He looks moocho cuto in them. And they have a shade clip, which he is thrilled about.


• The pigs have started having their babies. Known as Farrowing in the industry. I took Shaggy to the barn after supper last night to see them and there were a few in labour who had farrowed overnight. He so wanted to see the little critters pop out. Our Pal had me smell one. I was skeptical, but they did smell sweet. He said they only smell sweet for the first day or two, and after that they smell like pigs. The smell of money he said. He's comical. Everybody knows there's no money in farming. We just do it to keep from getting bored.


• Our tickets to China arrived yesterday. Panic is starting to set in because there is still so much to do to prepare. I have a corner in my dining room of bags full of supplies that I've bought that need to be sorted through and arranged and organized and stuffed into suitcases.


• Muther was over yesterday and I gave her all my unfinished Thumbelina Projects to finish for me. The blanket for her crib is finished - I seriously have no recollection of finishing it - but it has a million pieces of yarn that need to be woven throughout the back and hidden. It is a very pretty pattern, but it's a plaid, so multiples balls of yarn were used. There is also a sweater that needs buttons and a matching hat made to go with it, and another sweater that needs to be sewn together and the front ribbing done on it. Both of these sweaters are coming to China with us.


• I tripped over my iron last night as I was ironing and it fell off of the ironing board and put two gouges in my wood floor. And now my iron is not working.


• Husband and I are both sick. We feel really lousy in the mornings until we get up and get moving, and then after that, just lousy throughout the day.


• We are supposed to be getting a snowstorm today and today, so tomorrow might be a snowday! Woohoo.

Feelin' the Sting

Oh.My.Arm. I have never really felt anything quite like that before in all my life. And no, I'm not talking about getting a tattoo, I'm talking about immunizations. Needles. Shots. The aftermath.

Husband and I went to the travel clinic in London on Wednesday; I knew we both needed our tetanus updated and we wanted to talk with them about what else we should get. I really just wanted them to tell me over the phone and save us a trip, but they wouldn't do that. So we ended up getting the typhoid shot as well. Husband said he would rather get typhoid fever than the needle we got. Holy Moly. The nurse who administered it said the tetanus would hurt worse and said we should get it in the opposite arm that we use most, which we did. She was so wrong. So very very wrong. And I'm not trying to sound like a wimp or anything, but Ouch. Seriously, Ouch. Obviously I couldn't cook supper Wednesday night, and I couldn't really clean up the kitchen from our take-out. Zoomer did it for me. It was hard putting the boys to bed, and I almost slept with my clothes on. Almost.

We were also given malaria drugs, which incidently are the same drugs I took when my arthritis was at its worst 10 years ago. Long story, I'll tell you about it someday if you're interested. So I'm actually kind of excited about taking them again, even if it is just for 8 weeks, because I'm hoping my hip will give me no trouble on our trip. We also have an emergency 3 day supply (1 pill/day) of tummy medicine for severe tummy troubles, in case immodium or something over the counter does not work. Oy. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? My friend in our travel group who is a doctor told me not to bother taking Dukoral, which is a preventative medicine, and the travel clinic told me the same thing. Dukoral is for one specific type of bug only. So if you take it, and you don't end up getting that bug, great, but there are a lot more bugs out there that will give you the same sorts of trouble. I say squash all the bugs. Down with the bugs! Oh, I crack myself up sometimes.

So Zoomer had his meningitis shot at school; the travel clinic said he will be up-to-date on his tetanus but recommended he get his typhoid and the malaria pills and something more suited for kids for the tummy stuff. Except he starts his Twin-Rix regimine on Monday and I really don't want him to have to have the typhoid if he doesn't need it. I know other people who have gone over to China without having the typhoid shots...

I have a question for you all. This is about school. I am trying my best to get along with Shaggy's teacher, I really really am. And no, I wasn't being sarcastic. Shaggy, if you will remember, missed 4 days of school last week. School policy is that the kids get however many days they missed plus one to make up their school work. So Shaggy would get 5 days to make up his work. But his teacher is saying that all his work is due today. Which is day 5, so he really only got 4 days to make it up. In my mind, he still has today to make up his work and it would be due on the next school day, which is Monday. We have all his work done (I hope) but I wrote a note asking for clarification. Husband thinks the work would be due today as well. And he wasn't happy with me that I wrote a note about it. But I promise you, it wasn't snotty in any way. And I even wrote, "Have a good day". And I meant it. So reading what I just wrote, is your interpretation of the policy on missed days that his school work is due today, or am I really just out of my mind like I'm beginning to wonder thinking that it's due on Monday.

Why? why? Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurts, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Frigid

It's cold out. Extremely cold. Frostbite cold. Quite cold. I'm not a fan of the cold.

I've got nothing to blog about today.

Really.

I can't think of anything.

Other than the cold.

We leave for China in 4 1/2 weeks. That's exciting. I need to organize what I've already bought and start crossing things off of my lists. The lists. Goodness the lists. I had no idea how many lists were actually out there. Pages and pages and pages of necessities needed to spend two weeks in China. It makes my head spin.

Time for more coffee.

So I guess I had something to blog about after all besides the cold.

Updates All Around

• Our agency called yesterday with an update on Thumbelina! As of February 1st, she had gained 3 pounds and has 3 teeth. How exciting is that! I can't wait to see her with teeth! Heck, I can't wait to see her!
• My baby is back and I'm loving it. I had to drive home last night from a church banquet in an almost blizzard and I was feeling quite secure with my heated seats and four-wheel drive. Cozy, even.
• We happened upon Shaggy's teacher and her family Friday night at a restaurant. They were leaving as we were coming. His teacher didn't even make eye contact with us, let alone say hi. Not even to Shaggy. Not even after he missed a whole week of school because of sickness. No Hello. No How are you feeling. No nuthin. So I'm trying sooooo hard not to be petty. It's something I really have to work on. Last night my feelings were If you can't even make eye contact, why should I bother to try to be nice to you. Today my feelings are that I should smother her with kindness. Go out of my way to be friendly. Just to make her uncomfortable. But then, there's that pettiness again. Obviously, I'm not thinking like a rational adult would - so thoughts? How would you all handle this?
• Tigger has yellow goo oozing forth from his nose, so I've stayed home from church with him today.

I think that's about it for updates at the moment. Shaggy has a pile of homework to catch up on, so that's how we'll be spending our afternoon.

I Feel Out of Touch

I miss blogging every day. But until I can figure out how to make everything work, I'm afraid it will be hit and miss. My assistant is doing well. I've started teaching her the accounting program. My office is clean and organized. The file room is clean and organized. My desk is messy. I'm going to try harder to have a clean desk to match the rest of the office.

I feel bad about blogging during the day while my assistant is working. Actually not so much the feeling bad part as the keeping my blog a secret part. I don't even read anybody else's blogs during the day because I just don't want to start the whole blog conversation. So instead I sit and pine away and wonder what everybody is up to.

Okay, enough blathering.

Husband's ring has been found! Yay!!! Apparently it was 'found' on the floor by one of the shower doors, leaning up against the baseboard. Which means after it 'fell' off of the fridge, it had to roll around two corners, up two steps, and across 40 feet of open floor. That is one impressive ring! And since I bought an 18 carat ring, it is soft and isn't a circle any more - more of an egg shaped (I should have stuck with 10 carat gold). Wanna guess who found it? The newest guy of whom everybody is suspicious. I almost ended that sentence in a preposition. That wouldn't have been very good. We're pretty sure somebody took it and then felt guilty and brought it back. Who knows if it was the newest guy or not. I'm still sad that it was taken, but I'm really, really glad that it's back!

Shaggy is still sick. I took him to the doctors yesterday thinking he had bronchitis, but he has an infection of his pharynx. It was bright, bright red. Poor guy. I feel bad that he's missed so much school, and I've been busy working during the day instead of making him do homework...he seems to be perky for part of the morning and then after lunch, he's wiped out and exhausted and lays on the couch for the rest of the day. I may have been a tad too hasty in my perceptions of his teacher because she called him yesterday at lunch time to see how he was feeling. I'm just confused by it all, really. At one time I thought we were friends but her actions these last few weeks have told me otherwise.

So. On with something new.

My Tran is ready!!! And I can't pick it up until this afternoon!!! The anticipation...the excitement...the joy! It's a good thing.