Don't Feel Like Blogging

It's true. I don't feel like blogging today. I'm just feeling extremely sad. And I'm really tired so of course that makes everything seem worse than it is. And no, I don't want to talk about it. And no, it isn't adoption related. And no, I won't stop using and. Oh, I don't know, maybe I should just release it.

Okay, you talked me into it.

Report cards have come out. We had some good reports and some not so good reports, but nothing we weren't expecting. Except one of the teachers has a requested a meeting with us. Which has me feeling nausious. It never occured to me until I was talking with Lola last night as we were busy little beavers that the remarks on the back of the report card about each student should have a positive, a negative and a positive. Ours is just negative, negative, negative. Not even an I'm glad he's in my class. Or He has such a creative spirit. And it just makes me extremely sad because now I'm wondering if his teacher even likes him. And it's breaking my heart. I know that the teacher's aid in the room does not like him because she never has anything nice to say about him and she always rolls her eyes when she talks about him. So I avoid talking to her as much as I can. When he missed school a week or two ago because he was sick, he was absolutely devastated that his teacher didn't write him a note with his homework saying she missed him and hoped he felt better. Devastated. As in ran from the room crying devastated.

At times it just seems too much to bear. And it just makes me so sad to know that he isn't having good days and doesn't want to be at school. And then I get angry. And my defenses get up. And I'm waiting for a fight that never comes. I'm worn out and I am so tired of our lives revolving around one child's school issues.